“How to become more feminine”

You know that time you looked up synonyms for “responsibility” and you were reminded of how fucking sexist the internet can be?

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Fuck you Google dictionary.

Oh wait, that was just me… But I’ll bet you run across shit like this sometimes and just shake your head. *Sigh* “Oh internet…”

However, as much as I want to barf when I encounter these little nuggets of archaic bullshit, I also like to share them. “LOOK!” I’ll say, “Look at how RIDICULOUS it is!” Why? Because there’s a pretty big gap in lived experiences between men and women, and when it comes to explaining how women experience sexism, the only way we can make well-meaning naysayers understand what sort of toxic shit is out there is to show them (and sometimes even that doesn’t work).

Another good reason to point this stuff out to your friends is so you can be reminded that your friends are awesome and smart, and that’s why you’re friends with them:

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SOMETIMES though, there’s this garbage and even though the internet is a vast space with plenty of darker, more horrifying examples of sexism, this one was particularly vomit-inducing. BUT THEN I FIGURED OUT I CAN EDIT WIKI-HOW!

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So I did. Unfortunately….everyone else can edit it too…

goddammit

The original author rolled back all my edits and this lovely article reverted to its oppressive old ways (*also, because I used strikeouts to preserve the crazy original text, I was also not adhering to wiki-how’s editing guidelines). BALDERDASH AND CLAPTRAP.

But I got screenshots 😀

(Click the on the images to enlarge)

The end! 😀

No mini-skirts after 30.

A little cleavage is okay- whoa, not that much.

Don’t wear heels if you’re tall.

Flats aren’t sexy.

Don’t have sex on the first date.

Don’t call him, he’ll call you.

Stop being so pushy.

Smile.

Always wear mascara.

He’s an ass-man. He’s a breast-man.

Don’t be emotional. Don’t be needy. Don’t be a nag.

Make him treat you like the princess you are.

If you lose just five pounds…

Exfoliate!

Lie about your age.

Lie about your weight.

Cover those grays!

Long hair is sexy.

Pubic hair is not.

Shave.

Wax.

Go from night to day with this must-have nail color!

Don’t be aggressive.

White teeth are sexy. Age spots are not.

Panty lines are gross.

Get a pedicure.

Cover up those flabby upper arms.

Stop being so sensitive.

Men are better drivers.

Don’t act like a man.

Tick-tock. That’s the sound of your biological clock.

Stretch-mark removal cream. Anti-wrinkle, anti-aging, anti-turkey neck, dark circles spot scar hair remover.

Come-fuck-me shoes. Booty call. Walk of shame. Hag. Witch. Bitch. Slut. Whore.