You know that time you looked up synonyms for “responsibility” and you were reminded of how fucking sexist the internet can be?
Oh wait, that was just me… But I’ll bet you run across shit like this sometimes and just shake your head. *Sigh* “Oh internet…”
However, as much as I want to barf when I encounter these little nuggets of archaic bullshit, I also like to share them. “LOOK!” I’ll say, “Look at how RIDICULOUS it is!” Why? Because there’s a pretty big gap in lived experiences between men and women, and when it comes to explaining how women experience sexism, the only way we can make well-meaning naysayers understand what sort of toxic shit is out there is to show them (and sometimes even that doesn’t work).
Another good reason to point this stuff out to your friends is so you can be reminded that your friends are awesome and smart, and that’s why you’re friends with them:
SOMETIMES though, there’s this garbage and even though the internet is a vast space with plenty of darker, more horrifying examples of sexism, this one was particularly vomit-inducing. BUT THEN I FIGURED OUT I CAN EDIT WIKI-HOW!
So I did. Unfortunately….everyone else can edit it too…
The original author rolled back all my edits and this lovely article reverted to its oppressive old ways (*also, because I used strikeouts to preserve the crazy original text, I was also not adhering to wiki-how’s editing guidelines). BALDERDASH AND CLAPTRAP.
But I got screenshots 😀
(Click the on the images to enlarge)
The end! 😀
Babies NEED care after they are born. If a woman decides to have a baby she is responsible for providing that care. If she does not want to take on that responsibility then she should not have gotten pregnant, or she should have had an abortion, or she should give the child up for adoption after it is born.
Men have less options for contraception and NO choice when it comes to terminating a pregnancy (nor should they). Yet fathers are also legally required to take responsibility for their children, even when they wanted an abortion. My god even underage male rape victims whose rapists got pregnant by them have been forced to pay child support to their rapist’s baby once they came of age.
Femininity is basically enhancing those traits which are exclusive to women, or more pronounced for women…. such as lack of body hair. Women are naturally less hairy than men. So to shave and wax is to enhance that natural trait, and therefore become more feminine. Just as men are more muscular than women, so for men to enhance their muscles is to become more masculine.
Women generally have thicker and faster growing head hair than men, and so to enhance this by growing it long and making it voluminous is enhancing that natural feminine trait. This is why long, thick hair is considered feminine.
And so on.
In our culture women generally wear skirts and men wear trousers (pants). So to wear a skirt is to align yourself with being a woman, which is a declaration of your femininity.
What part of this don’t you get?
Look it up for yourself next time: https://mainstreamit.org/about/
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Gross. Any, non-discriminatory, non-gender-identifying definition could have been used by google. It even could have said, women give birth to babies and men take the responsibility of providing care for said babies while women take the responsibility of working and providing shelter and food for their family.
Women do not grow head hair more quickly than men. I am an extremely experienced hairstylist. I know more about this than you do. You are wrong. I will also point out that many men and women of different nationalities grow little to no body hair or are swarthy as hell. We are all varying degrees of masculine and feminine and should be free to express ourselves as we chose, that includes the freedom to break down barriers that restrict and limit us. What about this don’t you unserstand?
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A gendered definition is not gender discrimination. That is like saying “A cow is an example of an animal” is discriminatory towards other animals.
Here’s the thing. If you find a definition of ‘responsibility’ which references motherhood to be offensive then congratulations are in order. It means you are living in the first world, and your only problems are trivial first world problems, rather than actual oppression.
It could have. But that has generally NOT been the case for centuries because for centuries paid work outside of the home was mostly filthy, dangerous, strenuous, back breaking manual labour and the ‘responsibility’ (see what I did there) to do that work fell almost exclusively onto men.
Only AFTER modern technology made work outside of the home a more comfortable, safe, non strenuous and mostly indoor activity did women lose the petticoats and shawls, role up their sleeves and collectively say “We would like to join the labour force now”. But even today the women still shy away from most of the remaining dangerous, dirty and manual labour jobs left in society (logging, fishing, construction, maintenance of infrastructure, security, transport, front line policing etc) and this is why men are killed 20 times more frequently at work than women. But t be fair, most men are happy to take on the responsibility of ensuring modern civilisation always has fresh food, running water, houses, roads, electricity, police, street lighting, communications and other essential services even if it does mean putting their own safety – or even their lives – more at risk than women are prepared to do.
Then I stand corrected. I was always told (and I always assumed) it did. From my quick googling it seems there is a slightly different rate based on race (Asian hair grows the fastest, African hair the slowest), but not gender. So it seems you’re right (although I still have my doubts!). But whatever, women’s head hair is still generally thicker – on average – in adulthood, at least until menopause. And I would imagine men’s thinner hair means it is more prone to damage, making it harder for men to grow it long (because they will keep having to trim the split ends). And yes I know plenty of men with thick hair and women with thin hair, so you don’t need tell me this 🙂
The point is that thicker hair is a by-product of female hormones. If you give female hormones to a man, his hair will thicken up, and if you neuter a male dog (or a man I guess) his hair will also thicken up. And after menopause your hair will usually thin considerably. And if yo started taking male hormones you hair would also probably thin out (even if you don’t have the MPB gene).
So I am still right 😉
Long thick hair IS associated with female hormones and therefore with women and so long thick hair is associated with femininity, and specifically with fertility (youth, female hormones, good health). This is why women often showcase (or fake) their long flowing locks to attract a man. Men are attracted to women who show indicators of fertility (long hair, curvy bodies, clear skin, rosy cheeks, small feet, big shiny eyes etc).
So when someone says “Hairy chest” or “Big muscly biceps” do you think of a man or a woman? I tend to think of men. It sounds a bit like you are trying to deny sexual dimorphism. Do you not like the differences between men and women?
Sure. If you are a woman and you don’t like emphasising our femininity then fine. In the west millions of women are ‘caricatures’ of females tottering about in high heels, with ridiculously long nails, and obsession with body hair removal, big breasts and make up…….. and the world could sure use more women who are comfortable being more gender neutral, and even willing to get their hands dirty and put their safety at risk like men do (and yes I know there are plenty of women who already do that).
But all of this has nothing to do with the standard definitions of ‘femininity’, or ‘responsibility’.
I don’t understand how a definition of ‘responsibility’ which refers to the responsibility of motherhood restricts or limits you. The definition is accurate. How can an accurate definition be oppressive?
Having a baby restricts and limits you (whether you are a man or a woman), but that’s just life. If you don’t want the massive responsibility of parenthood, nobody is forcing you to have a baby. You can’t have a baby AND be just as unrestricted and free as you were before you became a parent. That’s called wanting to have your cake and eat it.
Parenting is a MASSIVE undertaking and a massive responsibility. So the example is a very good one to use to illustrate what ‘responsibility’ means.
I feel like “curiosetta” might disagree with this post? I’m getting that impression.
Or maybe curiosetta is simply defending its wiki?
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Your generalizations are hilarious. You conveniently disregard time, race, economic class, cultural differences, and geographical differences. Your sample group clearly consists of relatively upperclass, large eyed, probably caucasian women and burly working class men.
This discussion has absolutely nothing to do with the responsibility of child rearing. It is about a dictionary using an example that is very outdated and puts women in a pigeonhole. They could have used a plethora of other examples.
It’s sexist. No one is forcing you to aggree, clearly you have some pretty sexist ideas of your own. Also, the blog is funny. So quit trying to ruin it.
What if I were to argue that babies don’t actually need care after they are born, as you say? Ready…set…go!
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Reblogged this on soozkmac's Blog.
Hey! I get it now! Glad to see your blog again.
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My baby got a troll! I’m so proud!
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